SQUAWK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only by God's grace can I remain calm when all I want to do is SQUAWK! Have you ever had one of those days when things just go a little haywire? It all started Thursday when I decided to ask my husband, "What can I do for you today?" My intentions were to show him love that expressed gratitude toward him. He replied, "Would you mind getting the oil changed?" All right ladies.....we ARE different human species here, are we not? If your husband said to you, "What can I do for you today?".....how would you respond? I would say anything that has nothing to do with Car Maintenance...more like romance,time alone to shop, get a message or be alone to read a good book. (not necessarily in that order).

After dropping the children off at school I'm on my way to the oil changing place. I had called ahead to make an appointment. They kindly obliged, however, upon my TIMELY arrival they conversed between each other in my presence to see if they had time for me. You know, like adults can do to a child; oblivious to anyone standing in their presence. I kindly reminded the costumer friendly auto people that I did have an appointment and had not planned staying long. At the same time a gentleman came in the door with a POSTAL look to find the MANAGER. One man bravely came forth and the customer shared his frustration calmly....(I on the other hand was waiting for the gunfire). He told the manager how he drove his vehicle home with a lot of rattling noise. Turns out the mechanic never bolted his engine down to the engine mount...oops, that's a problem, and I'm not a mechanic. Turns out the mechanic who did the work on his car was there and came out to talk with the customer. The mechanic said when they took the engine out of the mount the threads were gone on the nuts and bolts....(wow, that's right, return vehicle the way you found it, makes sense, saves time)...oops again but never offered an apology or even a friendly reminder to the paying customer as he drove off the lot with a run away engine under the hood that there are no bolts holding his engine!!!!......Customer Service 101 is a definite must for their next company retreat outting. I reluctantly handed over my keys.

I found a secluded spot to settle with my book & pray that I will have oil in my car when this is all over. I was amazed that within 30 minutes I was motioned over to the front desk (it's a miracle...how many of you are singing Barry Manillo's True Blue Miracle?). However, I was not going to be leaving or singing Barry Manillo's mello song that makes the top 10 for every "Please Hold" Company Music.....I was entering the No Bolts Zone (I have been asking God to grant patience to me....okay here we go). Ma'am, we've done a history on you.....excuse me??? and it looks like you need to have some fluids changed and filters replaced. You've never replaced your cabin filter...(my what?!?!?!?!) We highly recommend this. Uh, huh...I reply with sudden urgency to run with or without bolts. Also, Ma'am, it looks as though your tires are wearing unevenly (currently so is my "Christian" patience).

I phone my dear, hardworking husband to explain to him of our new discoveries at Rip-You-Off Auto Care. Of course heavy sigh on his end clogs the airway and I wait after what seems like eternity for his response, wishing for some Please Hold Company Music when he finally states we need the alignment of the tires. I cringe and hope for a miracle......

I ask Auto Man, "Will this be much longer?" and I'm affirmed with a confident "No". This conversation took place at 10:05. At 10:40 he (highly qualified customer relations employee) comes back to my secluded area (where I was deep into my book) to look for another costumer. He said, "Are you Mrs. Nelson?" Keep in mind there have been no other women in this place except for me (I can see why now) and my last name is NOWHERE near Nelson. I said, "No". "Okay, I didn't think so"...(so why did you ask me...patience, patience..(miracle)...pray, pray)......Then as he started his quick pivot turn to leave he stopped dead in his tracks....auto mechanic smirk smile, "we're working on your car" I swear I saw him wink his eye. I said "Thank you?"...Yes, questionably. He vanished behind the wall and once again he replied out, "We're working on that Ms. Winer".....okay, for those of you who know me, my name isn't Winer....no where near, just as it is not Ms. Nelson either. Since he had to ask if I was Ms. Nelson, did he have an Oprah Lightbulb Moment and remember (or thought he did) what my name is???? Now I got up and walked to him and said AGAIN....thank you and then corrected him on my name.

At 11:15 he returns, Oh goody. I look up happily at him thinking I'm about to finally be dismissed from detention and he said, "Earlier, I had to take your car to the parking lot and look at a Honda we got in, did I give you back your keys?" Have you ever had an out of body experience where you watch your whole face mold into something that you yourself are fearful of and why does Honda get preferential treatment? I said, "no". He said, "Are you sure...(then gingerly points to my purse)...would you mind checking your purse?" Are you David Copperfield?!?!?! Last memory, I wasn't on the Las Vegas Strip at one of your overpriced magician shows at the MGM Grand (I may be accurate with overprice in this case, but that's it)....this is not funny!

POOF......magically my keys are resting at the bottom of my purse. I'm staring in my purse with disbelief.....I was amazed at his magical powers. I raise the keys out of my purse, staring at them with disbelief and with a look of wonderment, how did he do that?.....than horror. Reality sets in and I come back to life as Sybil....."Are you saying my car has been sitting in the parking lot since 10:05"?!?!?!?! Sounding like an interegation officer with accusation. "Well ma'am we had switched out your vehicle to look at the Honda". Okay, Honda is getting too much air play on this station and I want to know why you stated, "we're working on it Ms. Winer" at 10:40. At this point I no longer remember my name, which vehicle I drove in or why I'm even here OR WHO SENT ME.......

At 12:20pm my plane departed from the Vegas airport and magically I appeared in my driveway. Anyone could regret spending 3 hours for an oil change. However, I decided I needed to NOT focus on what I cannot change, but rather what I can change. (Sounds like a 12 step program). I had time to think of my Heavenly father and give Him praise for allowing me a vehicle that needed an oil change. For a husband who works hard and supports his family and allowing 3 hours of my time to show that I appreciate him very much. To focus on my walk with God and be grateful that He is patient with me as I stumble and fall daily and.....

I read 5 chapters out of my book. Now that right there is a great "miracle" and my husband gave me a gift that day without knowing it, time alone in a secluded spot to read a good book and forget about time....sort of. Thank you honey!